April 27, 2011
Happy Administrative Professionals Day!
I know the names of 500+ kids, along with their grade, teacher, brothers/sisters, allergies, who is late, who forgets their lunch every other day, who is sick, and who is "sick."
I have band aides for your paper cuts, ice packs for your "sudden crucial" pains, and safety pins for your skirt that is falling down. I can stop a bloody nose in record time, and if you feel like you might throw up, you can borrow my trash can until mom arrives.
My lost and found drawer is a little treasure trove - 6 pairs of glasses, about $20 in bills and coins, 2 cell phones, an inhaler, 2 watches, several earrings, rings, and bracelets, a headband, a flashlight, a Gold's Gym membership card, and much, much more - come claim your stuff!
Are you interested in attending our school? I am the enrollment expert. What do you want to know? The waiting list for kindergarten is currently 105 kids long. If you want to be added to the wait list, you need to fill out an "Intent to Register" form on our website (but your chances don't look very good). You must have had 5 doses of DTaP, 4 Polio, 3 Hep B, 2 Hep A, 2 MMR, and 1 Varicella (unless you had chicken pox) before the first day of school or I will very politely, but firmly request that you stay home. And please don't provide emergency contacts with no phone numbers on your registration packet - in the event of an emergency just a name isn't very helpful.
My job is to find the happy middle ground between enforcing the rules and making exceptions. If you're a respectful, friendly parent who is willing to work with me, then I will go the extra mile to help you. If you are angry, rude, or condescending, I will still be pleasant, but will definitely be less motivated to bend the rules for you. If you are a student, you'll know that for the most part I'm a nice office lady, but I can tell when you're lying and don't like it when you mess around. If you're trying to call your mom from my phone to arrange a playdate with your friend, you better have an office pass. And don't try to sneak under the rope to run out the front door after school because I am watching and will catch you every time.
Let's just say my job is never boring, I love where I work and could not be happier!!